drivethelife

Why is it that people do everything they can to learn to drive a car but don't do the same to drive their life? It really is the same process.

I'm going to risk torturing a metaphor to make the point. Put yourself in life's driver's seat. Here's how.

01 Want it

When you didn't know how to drive, you wanted to. You really wanted to. You knew that not knowing how to drive kept you dependent on others to get anywhere.

It prevented you from getting to places and people you wanted to see. It might even have kept you poor because you couldn't get to a job reliably.

At some point, you were sick of not being able to drive. You were so motivated, you pushed aside or got over whatever fears you had about being in the driver's seat and took charge.

Becoming successful at driving your life follows a similar process. There are probably people who are quite willing to drive your life if you let them.

Only you can decide that you don't want to be out of control any more. Push aside or overcome your fears to get in your driver's seat.

02 Take instruction

To learn to drive, you either took a driver's ed class or got a parent or adult friend to take you on the road. You were willing to take instruction because you understood that there was more to learn than just how to turn the key. You accepted the expertise of someone who was older and experienced.

People who are successful in life do just that. You don't have to pretend to know it all when you don't. Find yourself a mentor or two or more. Listen carefully and watch how things are done.

03 Learn the Rules

While learning to drive, you learned the rules of the road. Staying safe and out of trouble meant obeying the law. If you didn't like a law, you learned how change can happen. You learned, for example, that you couldn't change an intersection by demanding your “right” to make a right turn from a left lane. But you also learned that you might change how that intersection is configured by going through a process.

There are rules in life as well. Every teacher, every boss, even every friend has expectations (rules) for how things should be done. Getting along means accepting reasonable rules. Do the “rules” seem unreasonable? As much as you might want to, you won't be successful if you unilaterally start doing things differently. Instead, learn how to engage in a process of negotiation for making change.

04 Learn the Social Rules

There are also social rules that keep drivers in cooperation with each other.

Most people do understand that road rage doesn't help when another driver does something thoughtless or stupid. In fact, rage usually makes things far worse. You learned how to let some things go and what to do to report someone whose driving is dangerous. Yes. You know where I'm going …

There are social rules in life, too. General politeness as well as small and large acts of kindness do keep things friendlier. Regardless of how angry coworkers, friends, or family make you at times, expressing rage will only make things worse. Learn how to let some things go and how to effectively confront the situation when you can't.

05 Practice the hard parts

While learning to drive, you practiced — a lot. Skills like parallel parking and Y turns are challenging, but you tried and tried again until you mastered them. Practice matters in life, too.

Let's say you are socially anxious and interacting with others is really, really hard for you. You can't be successful in life if you refuse to leave your house. Instead, you need to identify social skills that are challenging for you and be willing to practice — a lot

06 Call for help if you need it

When there's something wrong with the car and you don't know how to fix it, you aren't ashamed to take it to a knowledgeable friend or to a shop. Your friend or mechanic will diagnose the problem and offer solutions.

Sometimes you'll be able to implement their suggestions by yourself.

Sometimes, you'll need to take the car off the road for a time for a lengthier fix by mechanics.

Sometimes it will require learning how to drive the car a little differently in order to improve its performance.

There will be times in life when you know there is something wrong with your body or mind that you can't fix with an over-the-counter drug or by talking to a friend.

There is no shame in seeing your doctor or a therapist for help. They will diagnose what's wrong and will offer you guidance about what you can do yourself and what might take more regular tune ups (appointments) after an initial fix.

You may need to learn how to live life differently to get well or just to grow.

07 Don' t give up

While learning to drive, you had to learn what to do if you were stuck or spinning your wheels or unsure about what to do next. You learned a variety of ways to get out of a rut.

It' s unlikely that getting where you want to go in life will always be a smooth ride. Learn to recognize when you are “spinning your wheels.” Slow down. Accept that you won't get different results if you use the same tactics over and over. Learn how to get out of the “ruts” you know only too well.

08 Take care of the car

Take care of your car and it will take care of you. It needs gas. It needs maintenance. It needs to be regularly cleaned up. It may need some retooling to perform even better.

So, yes, here I go again: Take care of your body and it will take care of you. That means doing the basics of maintenance like getting enough sleep, eating right, and fitting exercise into your schedule.

Looking your best by cleaning up and dressing up will help you do your best. If you want to up your horsepower, you need to do more than the minimum. You may need some retooling by getting more schooling or more experience.

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译文：

为什么人们想尽一切办法学开车，但不以相同的方式来推动他们的生活？其实过程是相似的。

我冒险用一个比喻来说明这个问题，你把自己放在人生的驾驶座上。以下是如何做。

01 想学会

当你不知道怎么开车的时候，你想学会，你确实想学。你明白如果不懂得如何驾驶，不管去哪里，会很依赖别人。

它妨碍你去你想去的地方和见想见的人。它甚至可能让你一直很穷，因为你不能可靠地找到一份工作。

有时候，你生病了不能开车。但是你头脑清醒，你把把车开到一边，或者克服了你对驾驶的恐惧然后再掌控一切情况。

成功地驾驶你的生活遵循着一个相似的过程。如果你愿意的话，也许有些人会很乐意驾驭你的生活。

只有你才能决定你的人生不再失控。避开或克服恐惧坐到自己的驾驶座上。

02接受指导

为了学开车，你要么参加驾校培训课程，要么有父母或成年朋友带你上路。你愿意接受指导，因为你知道要学的不仅仅是如何转动钥匙那么简单。你愿意接受年长有经验的人的专业知识培训。

生活里成功的人就是这样做的。当你不懂得的时候，你不必假装知道一切。给自己找一两个或更多的良师益友。仔细聆听，仔细观察，学习看事情如何进展。

03 学习规则

当学开车的时候，你要学习道路规则。保证安全不让自己陷入险境，这意味着需要遵守法规。如果你不喜欢法规，你就得学会如何改变。如果你学习过开车，例如，你就不会要求行驶你的“权利”，通过从左车道右转来改变十字路口的规则。但是您还明白，您可以通过这个过程改变交叉口的配置方式。

生活中也有规矩。每一位老师，每一位老板，甚至每一位朋友都会对事情该怎么做有期望（规则）。和睦相处意味着接受合理的规则。这些“规则”看起来不合理吗？尽管你可能想，如果你单方采取不同的行动，你就不会成功。相反，学习如何进行协商以做出改变。

04 学习社会规则

有一些社会规则可以让司机们互相合作。

很多人明白：当另一个司机做了一些粗心大意的事情或是愚蠢的行为时，路怒无济于事。事实上，愤怒通常会让事情变得更糟。你要学会如何放手一些事情，以及如果遇到有人驾驶出现危险，要懂得该怎么报案。对。你应该知道我讲的什么……

生活中也有一些社交规则。日常礼貌以及大小的善举可以保持交际友好。无论同事、朋友或家人有时多么让你愤怒，然而表达愤怒只会让事情变得更糟。当你无能为力的时候，要学习如何放手，如何有效地面对现实。

05 练习困难的部分

在学开车的时候，你需要做很多练习。像侧方位停车和Y型转弯技巧都很有挑战性，但是你可以不断努力练习，直到掌握它们。实践在生活中也很重要。

假设你在社交上很焦虑，和别人交流对你来说真的很难。如果你拒绝离开你的家，你就不可能成功。相反，你需要辨别清楚哪些事对你来说是具有挑战性的社交技能，然后愿意勤加练习它。

06如果你需要，打电话求助

当车出了问题而你又不知道怎么修理时，你不要觉得不好意思带它去见你有见识的朋友或去汽修商店，你的朋友或机修工会为你诊断问题并提供解决方案。

有时候你可以自己执行他们的建议。

有时候，你得把车停在路边好一段时间，直到机修工修理好。

有时候，为了提高车的性能，你需要学习以不同的方式驾驶汽车。

生活中总会有这样的时候，例如当你知道你的身心有问题，不能用非处方药或和朋友交谈来解决

那么去看医生或心理医生寻求帮助是没有羞耻的。他们会诊断出到底是什么问题，为你提供指导，告诉你自己如何做，以及在最初的康复之后可能需要更多的定期调整（预约）。

你可能需要学会如何以不同的方式生活才能让自己康复或成长。

07不要放弃

当你学习开车时，你要学习处理突发情况，比如：你的车被卡住了，或者你的车抛锚了，或者你不确定下一步该怎么做。你要学会各种摆脱困境的方法。

在生活中总是一帆风顺是不太可能的。学会识别什么时候你在“旋转你的轮子”。放慢速度。如果你反复使用同样的策略，那么就接受你不会得到不同的结果。学习如何走出你太熟悉的“怪圈”。

08照顾好你的车

照顾好你的车，它会照顾好你的。它需要汽油。它需要维修。需要定期清洁。它可能需要重组才能表现得更好。.

所以，是的，我再说一遍：照顾好你的身体，它会照顾好你的。这意味着要做一些基本的保养工作，比如充足的睡眠，合理的饮食，适当的锻炼。

把自己打扮得漂漂亮亮的样子能帮你更有自信。如果你想提高你的马力，你需要提高你对自己的要求。可以通过接受更多的教育或获得更多的经验来进行重组。

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